Hanging out in bed this morning after early walks with Penny and watching her devour her breakfast with gusto, it occurred to me that Penny reminded me of a pop-culture icon from one of the top movies of the 20th century:
"Conan, what is best in life?"
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women"
Penny is (despite her petite size and spectacular Labrador-osity) a barbarian...and not just any barbarian...a barbarian living the barbarous life to its fullest extent...
Proof of Penny's Barbarity
- She spends much of her waking time plotting new ways to crush Cedar, and to see him driven before her (she also spends a lot of time pouncing on him, biting his knees, and hanging from his neck)...
- She not only attacks Cedar in bed, under the table, while getting belly-rubs, and while eating...she pounces on him while he sleeps, when we ask him to sit, and...once...when he was pooping...he is totally driven before her...
- Penny revels in the lamentation of Cedar's women (well, woman really...just Gail, but she laments the high-spirited attacks on our grumpy old man)
Where earlier I had dismissed this behavior as simple puppy play, I have now come to recognize it as classic barbarian barbarism, in its most barbaric form...
So we have started in on a new training regime to try and condition her to be less of a barbarian
She's quite embarrassed and has fully acknowledged the error of her ways, and the full extent of her barbarity...we've got her signed up for local meetings of BA (Barbarians Anonymous)...She needs your love and support in this difficult time...
3 comments:
Aww, but look at those eyes! Penny looks like a wonderful lab. Hopefully, she'll grow out of her barbarian phase soon. =D
Bring her to Maine and Manny will teach her a thing or two
Ah, Penny, even the best of us sometimes succumb to temptation. We fully supprt you in your rehabilitation and wish you a speedy recovery. It seems your treatment involves frequent visits to Donnelley's, which appears to be a highly effective and proven method for reducing barbarism.
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